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Why Changing My Final Title After Getting Hitched Is Complicated Because I’m Latina

Recently, we celebrated my one-month loved-one’s birthday with the person whom I really un-ironically phone “the love of my entire life. ” It had been a day that is beautiful made me personally extremely, very happy and had been the most wonderful mixture of conventional and unconventional — much like the remainder of our relationship. We came across right after we left my house of 12 years (new york) in the future back off to Florida, relocated in together 30 days. 5 after conference, and got involved with the absolute most intimate means (with no engagement ring).

Our wedding preparation arrived together effortlessly, too. We knew we wished to keep things tiny (family members just)

And that we didn’t wish to invest a lot that is whole of on the wedding. We additionally did conventional such things as purchase our wedding bands together, get me personally a dress that is white and also proceed through a pre-marital program to ensure we had been on a single page about every thing. Usually the one thing that is really un-traditional did, but, ended up being that i’ve NO intention of changing my final title. Also it’s all because i’m Latina.

A post provided by web sites Irina Gonzalez (@msirinagonzalez) on Jan 12, 2018 at 8:36am PST

Growing up, I didn’t actually appreciate my title. We knew so it endured away and reminded everybody in my own mostly-white hometown that I became various. Teasing jokes to be called “Speedy Gonzales” had been just the start, we quickly discovered as a young child. I happened to be teased to be various, to be an immigrant, if you are not-quite-like-everyone else. Also that I was different though I mostly look white (despite my Cuban heritage), people still instinctively knew. Frequently, i did son’t have even to share with them my title me names before they would jump to conclusions and call.

But when I spent my youth, and relocated far from Florida, things changed. We met other Latinos and gradually became happy with my title and my heritage. Although being a “Gonzalez” suggested being various where we originated from, being a “Gonzalez” in a huge, diverse spot made me one of several individuals. We proudly embraced my curves, my capacity to talk Spanish, my love for arroz con pollo, and my Cuban tradition. We learned all about other Latinx countries, too. We fell deeply in love with Mexican meals, came across my Salvadoran closest friend, and discovered the similarities and differences when considering Cuban and Dominican food. On the whole, we discovered just how diverse and beautiful our culture is. Which explains why, whenever it stumbled on my wedding, we knew that i possibly could never ever alter my final title.

As soon as the discussion created my then husband-to-be, he had been entirely supportive of my choice.

Not merely is he a feminist that views no reason at all why the patriarchy should figure out what i actually do with my name that is own he could be additionally vehemently happy with my Latin tradition, too. He’s perhaps perhaps not Latino himself, but he knows essential my heritage is always to me personally. He understands that, one day, we’re going to show our kids Spanish and I also will prepare them the exact same dishes that my mami and abuelita made me growing up.

A post provided by Irina Gonzalez (@msirinagonzalez) on Jan 22, 2018 at 9:28am PST

Although my wedding was a joyful one and I am immensely proud to be a part of my husband’s family, I am also still immensely proud to be a part of the family I was born into day. Changing my final title seems like i might be offering up the identification that I worked so very hard to be proud of… and exactly what is the point of the, anyhow?

For ladies that change their names, they will have plenty of reasons: They wished to feel just like section of a team, like one family members, in addition they thought it might be strange if their young ones had an unusual name that is last. For ladies that don’t alter their names, they’ve lots of reasons too: They’ve accumulated a great profession under their provided title, they like their final names, plus they don’t view an explanation to improve their title if their husband does not alter theirs too. After which there’s the documents. Would you even comprehend exactly exactly exactly how much documents it takes to improve your appropriate title, from social safety to your passport to your postal workplace to different degrees and whatnot? No, thanks!

After I got married came down to how much my name is a part of my Latina identity for me, though, the decision to NOT change my name. It really isn’t more or less being a feminist (though that is section of it) or hating paperwork (accountable), however it’s about me personally experiencing like myself even with i will be a married old lady. Yes, I am a part that is big of expert life being a journalist but, a lot more than that, we can’t imagine getting out of bed 1 day rather than being a Gonzalez.

Also though we logically realize that having a new final name won’t make me personally any less Latina, we additionally understand that changing my last name won’t make me personally any less hitched (or any less of the mother to my future children, that will probably keep my husband’s last title). The reality is that just what Shakespeare stated does work. A flower by just about any title would smell as sweet. I will be a Latina whether or perhaps not my final title is Gonzalez. But, since we don’t are now living in the 1950s and I also do have an option, i will be deciding to keep my last title and continue steadily to embrace my identification utilizing the title I became provided at birth. Most likely, the band to my little finger can inform individuals I’m hitched. My final name, however? That may remain and inform individuals who i will be proud to become a Latina.